Posted by: chrisdavis | January 11, 2012

Reflections of a Homeschool Pioneer, Priority #3: Whose Kids Live in Your Home?

This little nugget is one of the major keys to raising children: The children in your home are not your children.

Your entire homeschooling enterprise will change if you can grasp this truth!

What if you truly believed that God created each child and intends to be that child’s Father for the rest of his life?

God then allows the child to reside in the home of humans for a short time and asks those humans to raise the child for Him and for His purposes. The human parents’ main responsibility is to find out how the Father wants His child raised and what life, and educational, experiences his Father wants the humans to provide while the child is in their home.

All the time the child resides in the humans’ home, the Father seeks to inform the humans what He wants done with His child. When the humans become confused as to what to do, they are to ask the child’s Father. The Father will tell them.

I have often told the story of the time the oldest boy declared that he hated math. That distressed me because I did not think learning should drive a person to something as drastic as hate. I told the boy, “Put away your math and I will ask your Father what is going on. We will return to math if and when He tells me what to do.” (There is a fuller version of this story in an earlier blog).

I talked and talked to this boy’s Father for an entire year, keeping my promise that we would do no math until I had heard from the boy’s Father. I knew one thing: I was this boy’s Dad; not his Father. The things I didn’t understand, his Father did understand. And I knew his Father would tell me or I would find myself going off in directions that might not be best for His son.

When the boy’s Father finally told me, a year had passed. The answer was so interestingly novel, I am still amazed to this day.

Whose children live in your home? Yours? Poor kids! Try putting the responsibility of raising them on their real Father. We are only helping Him raise His kids, so we had better keep a line open to Him. He is more than eager to tell us how He wants his children raised.

Your entire homeschooling enterprise will change if you can grasp this truth!



  1. Would love to read the full version of the math story. Could you provide a link?

  2. That’s right! Thanks so much for the reminder! It has encouraged me more than you know!

    • Patty: thanks for the comment. CHRIS

  3. Thank you for taking time to share this. I wonder, did your boy hate math because he wasn’t getting it, or because it just was unpleasant? I only ask to gain insight since I have had both in my house; one who hated it because he just couldn’t get it, and one who just didn’t like to do it, yet could understand it. I would think the latter since your son was able to ace Algebra and Geometery the following year. In any case, this was a wonderful reminder and great encouragment to me to “follow” the Master’s voice. I have to remind myself that I am supposed to follow God and his leading, not the public school model, unless He lead me to! That sounds silly, yet has been the truth for me.


    • Rhonda, thanks for your comments. Honestly, to this day I cannot understand what was going on in my son’s mind re: math. I can only guess: how could he ace Algebra & Geometry having only gone through about 1/3 of Math 5/6? Doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s just a good thing I was willing to wait to hear from his Father what to do. I am aware that, especially with boys, in both math and reading, we could wait a significant amount of time before pressing them to learn these subjects. For one of my sons, math needed to “make sense”, meaning it needed to have real-world, practical application, and that made it “OK”. Why not build something that requires the use of the Pythagorean Theorem in order to learn why this math concept is so important to know?

  4. Also want to say that reading your blog has really stirred my heart and encouraged me in home schooling. Two of my four sons have moved forward and two are still home schooled. I find that I still really need the encouragment, even though I’ve had 14 years experience!

  5. It is hard to figure things out sometimes. Of course, I guess we weren’t meant to figure it all out!!!

    I am still not as relaxed as you and might not ever be, but my approach to my son is much different. I no longer see him as deficient in his learning ability. I no longer hold high academia on a high pedestal.

    I don’t think intelligence only exists in people with degrees or jobs which require “higher” learning. What one person understands another person doesn’t and vice versa.

    I think one of the biggest things about anything homeschooling related is HOW we relate to our children. If we relate to our children with love and laughter and respect and believe them to be wonderfully created by their Father, then it doesn’t matter as much what method we use to homeschool. Can we be too strict or too lenient in homeschooling? Yes, but a good relationship can make things work even in those circumstances.

    I still haven’t found the perfect spot on the spectrum- between unschooling and strict school-at-home. I wish it was marked and plain to see. I want to encourage all of those homeschooling moms and dads to know that even if they haven’t figured it all out–don’t fret and think you are failing your kids. Kids know when they are loved.

    • Good comment, Cindy. Thanks so much for sharing. CHRIS

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