One day, when I was a young boy, I saw my mother reading a book. The title of the book: “My Sister Is an Only Child”.

“That’s a dumb title for a book!” I thought.

Recently I was watching a CNN special on how to fix American public schools. One of the people interviewed was Professor Ken Robinson. Robinson is a favorite of mine and I strongly suggest everyone watch some of his talks at TED Conferences [Go to You Tube and enter his name. He is not only very funny, but has some important things to say that anyone who cares about children needs to hear].

The interviewer, Fareed Zakaria, asked Robinson how American schools could be improved. Here is the short exchange between Robinson and Zakaria (I can’t quote it exactly, but this is close):

Robinson [responding to Zakaria’s question]: You have three children, don’t you?

Zakaria: Yes.

Robinson: I have never met your children, but I know something about them. They are very different from one another, aren’t they?

Zakaria: Yes, very different.

Robinson: Herein lies the great problem with public schools: Every human being is different, yet, we don’t treat children as if this was the case. We treat them as if they were the same: same abilities, same capacities, same interests. What we need is to celebrate the individuality of each child. Public schools were originally created on a factory model, to educate masses of children as efficiently as possible. This requires conformity, uniformity, and standardization. But, we are not making motor cars, here. We are raising unique human beings.

At that moment, the title to my mother’s book jumped into my mind (I had not thought of that book in decades). I thought, “My sister really was an only child!”

If you think about it seriously, every child is an ‘only child’.”

I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that famous educators like Robinson are finally saying things we homeschoolers have been saying for a long, long time.

As a homeschool parent, are you treating each of your children like he or she would be treated in the public (factory) school?

Or, do you shun conformity, uniformity, and standardization as you homeschool your different children? If so, in what ways are you celebrating the individuality of each child?

Please comment below. I would really like to hear from you on this important issue.

This little nugget is one of the major keys to raising children: The children in your home are not your children.

Your entire homeschooling enterprise will change if you can grasp this truth!

What if you truly believed that God created each child and intends to be that child’s Father for the rest of his life?

God then allows the child to reside in the home of humans for a short time and asks those humans to raise the child for Him and for His purposes. The human parents’ main responsibility is to find out how the Father wants His child raised and what life, and educational, experiences his Father wants the humans to provide while the child is in their home.

All the time the child resides in the humans’ home, the Father seeks to inform the humans what He wants done with His child. When the humans become confused as to what to do, they are to ask the child’s Father. The Father will tell them.

I have often told the story of the time the oldest boy declared that he hated math. That distressed me because I did not think learning should drive a person to something as drastic as hate. I told the boy, “Put away your math and I will ask your Father what is going on. We will return to math if and when He tells me what to do.” (There is a fuller version of this story in an earlier blog).

I talked and talked to this boy’s Father for an entire year, keeping my promise that we would do no math until I had heard from the boy’s Father. I knew one thing: I was this boy’s Dad; not his Father. The things I didn’t understand, his Father did understand. And I knew his Father would tell me or I would find myself going off in directions that might not be best for His son.

When the boy’s Father finally told me, a year had passed. The answer was so interestingly novel, I am still amazed to this day.

Whose children live in your home? Yours? Poor kids! Try putting the responsibility of raising them on their real Father. We are only helping Him raise His kids, so we had better keep a line open to Him. He is more than eager to tell us how He wants his children raised.

Your entire homeschooling enterprise will change if you can grasp this truth!

Homeschooling is usually initiated by mothers. When Moms bring the idea to their husbands, Dads often respond, “Sure, honey, whatever you think.”

What Dads usually mean by this is, “I’m really busy bringing home the bacon. There is an entire industry out there to educate children. But, if you have time to do this and think you should, then go ahead…” We call this Dad supporting Mom’s homeschooling.

What is wrong with this? I will tell you: If Dad supports his wife’s homeschooling, Mom will eventually burn out.

What causes Moms to burn out is not the work of homeschooling, but the responsibility of making it work.

Men don’t understand that women can actually get physically ill when they feel totally responsible for how this homeschooling enterprise works out. That responsibility is simply not Mom’s to carry! Instead of Dad supporting Mom’s homeschooling, Mom should be supporting Dad’s homeschooling.

A few years ago, I was giving a homeschool seminar to a group of about 600 people. When I had finished speaking, I felt the Lord prompt me to give an alter call for healing. I was stunned! I had never even thought of giving an alter call during a homeschooling conference. “This isn’t the place for alter calls,” I thought.

But, I obeyed, telling the audience there might be a few ladies who needed healing for medical issues brought on by their particular homeschooling situation. I told them to come up front and I would pray for them. Then, I dismissed the rest.

Within moments, I was looking down at over 200 women who had come forth for healing! It was then I realized how serious this is.

What if Dad said something like this to the children, “Your Mom and I have decided to homeschool you kids. Since I work during the day, I have asked your Mom to do most of the teaching. Mom and I have discussed how we will do this. I have told Mom that she is not required to make you do what we have agreed should be done. All she has to do is tell you what the two of us have decided. She will not remind you several times and she will not raise her voice. You will make homeschooling easy for Mom. If you don’t, you and I will have a talk. And, we may even more than a talk.

Support is not the same thing as being responsible. If Dad only agrees that Mom should homeschool, what happens if things don’t work out? He can always say, “Yeah, I didn’t think it was such a good idea. But, you wanted to, so I agreed.”

However, if Dad is the homeschooling parent and Mom is his helper (meaning she may still do most of the teaching), all the weight of responsibility is lifted from her shoulders and she can simply follow through with what she and Dad have agreed needs to be done.

There is lots of flexibility in this arrangement, too. As time goes by, the kids can appeal for changes in routine and curricula and both parents can make whatever changes are necessary to make homeschooling flow more happily.

Mom is not carrying a burden. She is enjoying her time with the children and really enjoying Dad being responsible.

Dad, how about telling your wife, “Honey, instead of merely being a ‘figurehead Principal’, I am going to be the homeschooler around here. Will you help me?”
_________________________________
My book I Saw the Angel in the Marble is now an Audio Book, read by me. To listen to the title chapter, go to http://galahadmediagroup.com/angelaudiobook/14%20-%20Identity%20Directed%20Homeschooling.mp3

The paperback version is available at Amazon.com and is one of Amazon’s 5-star titles (check out what people have to say about it on Amazon.com).

I have added some bonus chapters to the Audio Book. Right now, the Audio Book is only available in Australia as we used up all our materials on a large order we sent there. Soon, the audio book will be available worldwide. Stay tuned…

You may also receive my Newsletter by simply going to my website, www.HomeschoolTravel.com and entering your email address. My Newsletter contains information about new biblical archaeological discoveries in Israel, Israel Experiences you may join, and more.

Feel free to repost this on your Facebook Homepage or send it to a friend.

CHRIS DAVIS

I promised to begin the New Year thinking about my nearly 30 years’ involvement in homeschooling and share what I believe are the most important truths every homeschooler must consider.

And, I promised to share both from my successes and my failures.

I also promised to try to put these truths into some sort of priority order. So, here goes #1 (this may seem like an unusual #1, but I suggest that you consider it carefully)…

When I ask parents what they believe is most important for their children to learn, no adult has ever responded, “I want my children to grow up with a really healthy idea of what a good marriage looks like.”

Allow me to be blunt:

Homeschool parents often forget that their children are not the most important individuals in their home.

Every one of us has a finite amount of time for relationships. Homeschool parents tend to focus on their children: we fret over curricula, we worry about reading, we plan and we plan and we plan some more. Then, we homeschool. We pour ourselves into our kids.

Our spouses get what’s left over, if there is anything left over. Bad idea.

How would your children characterize their parents’ relationship? Do they happily roll their eyes at your show of affection? Do they have to sacrifice some parental time because Dad and Mom truly believe time spent with one another is more important than time spent with their kids?

If you are homeschooling, your kids are probably around you most of the time. They watch and learn—not so much by what you say as what you do (or don’t do).

Here’s a scary thought for some (and a positive thought for others): Your children will probably relate to their spouses in much the same way you relate to yours.

For years I have been introduced as a pioneer in the Homeschooling Movement.

Pioneer doesn’t necessarily mean “first”. It just means before something becomes accepted. Others had gone before me, and they became my inspiration.

Recently, I had a picture in my mind’s eye: I was sitting among a group of newby homeschooling families who had asked this ‘Ole Timer’ to share some advice from my almost 30 years’ involvement in homeschooling.

So, I will. As the New Year begins, I will be sharing perspectives I believe every new (or somewhat new) homeschooler should consider. Some of what I share will come from failure; others will come from valuable insights the Lord has given me throughout the years.

I will even attempt to arrange these thoughts in a hierarchy of importance.

I also want to ask anyone who has finished his or her homeschooling journey to add your own insights. Not just homeschooling parents, but homeschool graduates. What are the 1 or 2 things you want to say to other homeschoolers? Write them in the Comments box, below, and we will see what help we can offer to those who have heard God tell them to “Walk this way…”

Just as some children have Dyslexia (difficulty with the written symbols of letters and words), some children have difficulty with its sister condition, Dyscalculia.

An article in this week’s Jerusalem Post discusses how Dyscalculia can be easily diagnosed by determining how well a child as young as age 3 is able to estimate. “The National Institutes of Health showed that the innate capacity to estimate is impaired in children who have a math learning disability.”

For example, if shown 8 dots, can the child tell you if the number is closer to 10 or to 5? Can the child determine which number is greater or lesser than the other?

The article featured an individual who had taken intermediate algebra six times before a teacher finally stumbled on a way to explain formulas so the student could understand. It seems that students with Dyscalculia are often able to grasp complex mathematical concepts, but choke at the most basic tasks of addition and multiplication.

Although my ADD is greater than my Dyscalculia (I understand that 8 is greater than 5), I have always had difficulty figuring how much to tip or which line is moving faster in a store. At first, I had tremendous difficulty with Algebra until one day the thought struck me that Algebra was, basically, a game—each problem a mystery to be solved. I have always loved games; so, once I entered the “game” called Algebra, Algebra became one of my favorite pastimes. If I had not made this discovery, I might have become a statistic like what Sylvan Learning Center recently discovered: “…about 1/3 of students surveyed would sacrifice a month of fun activities if they could never have to do algebra again….”

As an educator, my greatest concern is the long-term damage to an individual’s self-worth caused by the continual comparison between students that is so endemic in an institutional educational setting (i.e. public and private schools). Studies show that Dyscalculia is in no way related to IQ; that people with Dyscalculia are often highly intelligent, but suffer from low self-esteem due to  having been compared with others over many years.

A few years ago I read that 85% of 2^nd graders (read that again: second graders!) consider themselves failures. I am forced to repeat this: By the time a child is in 2^nd grade he or she is most likely to consider himself/herself an academic failure. Why? Again, comparison.

John Gatto (former New York State Teacher of the Year) states that public schooling is, basically, a “competitive sport” at which only a few can win and most lose.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, one of the main reasons we must raise our own children (including providing for their education) is that we are the only ones capable of treating them as individuals. In our homes, each child is not compared to any other. Each is allowed to be the individual he or she really is. By contrast, it is virtually impossible for an institutional setting to individualize education. No one ever asks, “How much math is enough for this person?” Or, “What kind of math does that person really need to succeed in life?” Or, “Is there a different way to present math to my child so he ‘gets’ it?”

Does your child “Get Math”? Many of my former blogs deal with this topic.

I always appreciate your comments and feedback to anything I write…

CHRIS

P.S. Consider bringing your students to tour Israel with me this summer: visit www.HomeschoolTravel.com. This will be our 10th year!

John Holt, long-time educator and author, now deceased, had this to say about institutional schooling:

“Education… now seems to me perhaps the most authoritarian and dangerous of all the social inventions of mankind. It is the deepest foundation of the modern slave state, in which most people feel themselves to be nothing but producers, consumers, spectators, and fans, driven more and more, in all parts of their lives, by greed, envy, and fear. My concern is not to improve ‘education’ but to do away with it, to end the ugly and antihuman business of people-shaping and to allow and help people to shape themselves.”

As homeschooling parents, the only thing we shape in the lives of our children is their character. We do not educate to shape them; we educate as we discover them. Of course, this assumes there is already something in each child to be discovered.

Modern education shapes children in the mold of employability, ignoring what God has already put within the child. Homeschooling should release what God has put within the child for His glory and the benefit of whatever/whomever God determines. Only then can an individual be fully alive.

Where? Online. Listen via the website
http://www.ultimatehomeschoolexpo.com/?page_id=867
or
Call in: 347-205-9175

When? Oct 6-7
Can’t make the live event? Visit the website for details.

Day One: October 6th at 11:00 AM EDT and 2:00 PM EDT
11:00 PM EDT: Chris Davis: Philosophy of Homeschooling/ “Please Don’t Homeschool”
2:00 PM EDT: Mary Hood: General Relaxed Homeschooling

Day Two: October 7th at 11:00 AM EDT and 2:00 PM EDT
11:00 PM EDT: Mary Hood: Practical Methods Class on Teaching
2:00 PM EDT: Questions/Answer Session with both Mary Hood and Chris Davis (host Felice Gerwitz)

Everyone begins at the same place: bad.

So, how does a person go from bad to great?

First, he has to stay bad long enough until he finally runs out of bad and comes to the place of being not-so-bad. From there, he moves through the not-so-bad stage until he arrives at pretty good. If he is motivated enough to keep going, he moves through the pretty good until he becomes really good. If he doesn’t stop there, he comes to the end of really good and, finally, ends up at great.

As your child progresses through these stages, others drop by the wayside. Yet, your child continues on.

What keeps your child moving forward while others don’t? What is the origin of your child’s determination? Answer: God has put within your child a gift that he or she is driven to bring to maturity.

There are two things that will abort this process: 1) The child’s authority figures do not value what the child is motivated to do; 2) the child is required to spend huge amounts of time at lesser pursuits (i.e. public school homework).

You have often heard me quote one of my sons’ favorite sayings: “If I will spend a few years doing what others won’t do, then I will spend the rest of my life doing what others can’t do.” This was James’s motto as he spent his 10,000 hours [see a previous post] becoming a well-paid professional actor/singer/dancer.

We parents need to be our children’s most fervent advocates. We need to become permission-givers to their God-given talents. We need to become connectors, linking their passions to much-needed materials and support persons. We need to protect their time so it isn’t stolen by less meaningful pursuits.

And we need to learn to value what God has put within them to pursue and let go of the paradigm that says, “But you will never get a job doing that!”

Everyone begins at the same place: bad.

So, how does a person go from bad to great?

First, he has to stay bad long enough until he finally runs out of bad and comes to the place of being not-so-bad. From there, he moves through the not-so-bad stage until he arrives at pretty good. If he is motivated enough to keep going, he moves through the pretty good until he becomes really good. If he doesn’t stop there, he comes to the end of really good and, finally, ends up at great.

As your child progresses through these stages, others drop by the wayside. Yet, your child continues on.

What keeps your child moving forward while others don’t? What is the origin of your child’s determination? Answer: God has put within your child a gift that he or she is driven to bring to maturity.

There are two things that will abort this process: 1) The child’s authority figures do not value what the child is motivated to do; 2) the child is required to spend huge amounts of time in lesser pursuits (i.e. public school homework).

You have often heard me quote one of my sons’ favorite sayings: “If I will spend a few years doing what others won’t do, then I will spend the rest of my life doing what others can’t do.” This was James’s motto as he spent his 10,000 hours [see a previous post] becoming a well-paid professional actor/singer/dancer.

We parents need to be our children’s most fervent advocates. We need to become permission-givers to their God-given talents. We need to become connectors, linking their passions to much-needed materials and support persons. We need to protect their time so it isn’t stolen by less meaningful pursuits.

And we need to learn to value what God has put within them to pursue and let go of the paradigm that says, “But you will never get a job doing that!”